TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Difficulties will come up this week. might not be able to sleep due to this but when you go to bed, raise your dominant arm, turn your head close to your armpit, and gently sniff its scent. Toot.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Be realistic. Stop thinking about the past and look toward the future. Be careful walking forward while turning your head back, somebody is waiting to grab your family jewels. Ding dong.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): You may decide to create new goals and be inspired by your close friend. But be careful when you look up in the sky, your close friend might place two fingers up your nose. Toink.
LEO (July 23-August 22): Don't talk as much this week. If you do, a fly that nests in poop might share what it eats in your precious mouth. Ewww.
VIRGO (August 23-September 22): You will take control of a life scenario. avoid accidents. Bring extra underwear. Wink. your crush might see a brown stain on your behind. Oops!
LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Take a risk. It wont hurt. Some hair might get stuck on your teeth and you will end up flossing with a black floss. Yum.
SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): Learn from your experiences and stop staring. Don't know what you are looking at but beware, you are on live camera. Doot!
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): Slow down, dont work too hard. You might get burnt out and start smelling your moisten crotch which is the next level of your sweaty pits. Woot.
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): Stop being stubborn. Be blunt to any person you are conversing with. It's ok to say, 'want a gum, or lysol disinfectant? Grrr.
AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): You will have an unexpected experience. Why... because a person you've been wanting to talk to will have a chat with you. So practice lifting your leg up from side to side, it will help and save you from loud farts. Boot
PISCES (February 19-March 20): Stop procrastinating. Finish unfinished business. Be careful, toilet tissue is available to get rid of some dingleberry. Gross.
SHARE US YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE RELATED TO THESE HOROSCOPES. (post comment below)
2 comments:
Last week I just stepped on dudu. And I'm an Aries... O:
yesterday, I was walking on the streets of LA, busy crowded street. I turned my head to look for my friend, next thing I know my jewels were grabbed. I did not know who because that person was quick enough for me to not notice. shitballs. And i'm a Gemini...
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